So it comes as no surprise to me that this new hipster hairstyle, called the man bun hairstyle, is here to take over our heavy metal community. Hipsters are a new breed of metrosexual men, only that hipsters are actually worse than metrosexuals themselves. Hipsters aim to exude a manly macho essence while also looking at life in a detailed and pompous manners. Hipsters will grow their beards despite the fact that the previous breed of metrosexuals hated beards with a passion. Many times, the hipster beard make these guys look like tramps or socially awkward dudes. Somehow in their hipster world, the longer and bushier your beard is, the more ‘hipster’ you are.
Why am I going on a rampage against hipsters? Because they’ve taken over the long hair community and started making the bun hairstyle, which we all long haired dudes have worn for years, a stylish and trendy hairstyle. To make things worse, hipsters will call the regular bun a ‘man bun’, ain’t that cute? You can even see more hipster man buns here and see how stupid the beard and man bun fashion trend looks. It looks something like this, which I’ve taken from the site in the link.
Lately I have been spotting more hipsters at dark metal concerts. I’m an old guy so I have seen all the underground trends come and go in the heavy-metal scene. We’ve had the punk fashion influence in the early nineties and we’ve had the leather jackets trend from the greasers and rockabillies of the fifties. Some fashion trends have remained while others have gone, but none of them were as stupid as the whole hipster fashion trend. Long beard and man bun, what on earth where these guys thinking of?
We have had a good amount of heavy metal bands have to go mainstream to keep themselves afloat (in terms of money). Many of us have called some of our favorite bands that went mainstream a ‘sell-out’. We’ve also seen underground heavy-metal bands adopt a less extreme and more ‘compliant’ form of aesthetics so as to appeal the masses. These bands have faded from our underground scene and they were all replaced with fresh blood from new bands wanting to break into the underground scene.
With hipsters now in the heavy-metal scene, we have the enemy in our own home. Previously the enemy were the sell-out bands, but they would leave our underground scene, so it wasn’t a case of these sell-outs jeopardize our scene. But now it’s the hipsters with their beards and man buns who are infiltrating our scene. Instead of rocking the place with your long hair and moshing, these new hipster guys keep their hair tied in their cute man bun styles, while listening to the music sipping an expensive brand of beer that no one in the whole damn USA knows of.
The only way to fight back is to not adopt their style. Don’t grow your beard and don’t grow your hair long to be able to tie it into a man bun hairstyle. Whenever you see one of these guys at a concert, simply move on and ignore them. Don’t give them the time of the day and keep your long mane free and loose. And while I don’t condone violence, next time you see a hipster at a concert go and chop his man bun. That will show them not to cross into our territory.
Rock and roll.